When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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