i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
