I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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