I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
