Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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