i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
