You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
