There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
