I'm going to jail i love you
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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