Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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