I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
