I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
