just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
