Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
