there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize