My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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