youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
