I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
