I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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