I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Soap is not a condiment
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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