You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
