We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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