did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
