census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
