I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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