Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
