That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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