If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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