friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
