Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
