I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
