i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
