I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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