Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
