I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You can't just leave with hair like that
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
