We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
