Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
you made out with another girl for some wings
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
