I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
