Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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