don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
