the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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