summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
