Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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