I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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