i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
