You made me cry and you don't even care
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
