Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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