Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Randomize
