And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
