Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
