Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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